Helping Children Cope with Pet Loss

Guiding Young Hearts Through Grief

Losing a beloved pet is difficult for everyone, but for children, it can be especially confusing and overwhelming. A pet is often a child’s first best friend, and saying goodbye can bring big emotions and tough questions.

At Monarch Pet Memorial Services, we understand how important it is to help children process their grief in a healthy way. Below, we provide guidance, conversation tips, and recommended books to support your child through this experience.

How to Talk to Children About Pet Loss

  • www.foreverfriend.pet/ Be Honest, But Gentle – Use simple, age-appropriate language. Avoid phrases like “went to sleep” that may cause confusion or fear.
  • Acknowledge Their Feelings – Let them know it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or confused. Reassure them that grief is normal.
  • Encourage Questions – Children may ask difficult or unexpected questions. Answer truthfully and with kindness.
  • Include Them in Goodbyes – If possible, allow them to say goodbye in a way that feels right for them—whether through a small ceremony, drawing a picture, or sharing memories.
  • Create a Memorial Together – Lighting a candle, planting a flower, or making a scrapbook can help children honor and remember their pet.

Dr Mary and Coleen Ellis created activity books for children navigating the loss of a dog or cat. For more information go to: www.foreverfriend.pet

How to Talk to Children About Pet Loss

For Young Children (Ages 3-7)
The Invisible Leash: A Story Celebrating Love After the Loss of a Pet - Patrice Karst
A beautiful story about how love and connection with a pet never truly disappear.
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When a Pet Dies - Fred Rogers
From the beloved Mister Rogers, this gentle book explains loss in an honest yet comforting way.
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The Goodbye Book - Todd Parr
A simple, colorful book that helps young children understand loss and emotions.
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For Older Children (Ages 7-12)
Saying Goodbye to Lulu - Corinne Demas
A heartwarming story about a young girl losing her dog and learning how to heal.
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I'll Always Love You - Hans Wilhelm
A touching story about a boy and his dachshund, exploring the deep bond of friendship and loss.
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Dog Heaven & Cat Heaven - Cynthia Rylant
A simple, colorful book that helps young children understand loss and emotions.
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For Teens
Goodbye, Friend: Healing Wisdom for Anyone Who Has Ever Lost a Pet - Gary Kowalski
Provides thoughtful guidance on coping with grief and remembering a pet with love.
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Healing Your Grieving Heart for Kids: 100 Practical Ideas - Alan Wolfelt
A touching story about a boy and his dachshund, exploring the deep bond of friendship and loss.
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Bridge to Terabithia - by Katherine Paterson
Not specific to pet loss, but helps with understanding grief in general
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How can we help?

Ways to Help a Child Memorialize Their Pet

  • Create a Memory Box – Fill a box with photos, a collar, drawings, or favorite toys.
  • Plant a Tree or Flower – A living tribute to their pet’s memory.
  • Write a Letter or Draw a Picture – Encourage children to express their feelings through writing or art.
  • Keep a Paw Print or Fur Clipping – A physical keepsake can be a comforting reminder of their pet’s presence.
  • Make a “Favorite Moments” Video or Scrapbook – Looking back at happy memories can bring comfort.
  • Have a Small Ceremony – Saying a few words or lighting a candle can help bring closure.

Helping Kids Understand the Cremation Process

Children may have questions or concerns about what happens next. Here are some ways to explain cremation in a gentle, age-appropriate way:

  • Just like leaves return to the earth, our pet’s body is being taken care of in a way that helps them return to nature. We will always keep their love in our hearts.
  • Some families choose to keep a pet’s ashes in a special urn, while others may scatter them in a favorite place. We can decide what feels best for us.
  • Even though their body isn’t here anymore, our memories and love for them never go away.

Additional Pet Loss Support for Families

For more resources on grief and healing, we recommend Lap of Love’s Pet Loss Support Group, a free, support group that provides a safe space for families to share their grief.

Join Lap of Love’s Free Support Group Here

Helping Children Heal After Pet Loss

Grieving a pet is a deeply emotional experience, and for children, it may be their first encounter with loss. By offering honest conversations, loving support, and meaningful ways to remember their pet, we can help them navigate their grief in a healthy way.

No matter their age, children should know they are not alone, and their feelings are always valid.